Inspired Real Estate For Today

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Lusting Within Our Hearths...*A Peculiar American Love Affair!

 

In love with our homesWe talk about them, ogle them, reminisce about memories we have of them and worry about their welfare. In many ways, the American love affair with our homes is typical of the patterns in a troubled romantic obsession.  Our rapt attention as we watch the object of our affection on numerous TV shows is indicative of how deeply we are in love with the "idyllic vision" of our homes.

Recently Newsweek Magazine profiled a new book by Daniel McGuinn called "House Lust:  America's Obsession With Our Homes."  According to McGinn " The existence of the real-estate gossip columnist is just one more bizarre indicator of our fascination with homes, which continues even as housing values have fallen."

We not only want to know where celebrities live, we want to see exactly what their private spaces look like and what they have in their refrigerators...witness the popularity of Cribs. Even the prospect of diminishing house values has not dimmed our ardor.

But that's the thing with lust...it's desire can never be adequately satisfied.  There is always a grinding need for more and more.  It's an addiction which enslaves and distorts.  While most Americans are well aware of the crisis that has beset the housing and mortgage industry, many still can't believe that they will be negatively affected. The fall-out of this refusal to accept this harsh market reality is evident in price reductions for homes in the tens and even hundreds of thousands of dollars at times.

In fact, McGinn indicates that a survey by Boston Consulting Group showed that 55 percent of Americans still think their homes are GAINING IN VALUE despite all evidence to the contrary. If you factor in the percentage who believe that housing prices are simply at a stalemate, I daresay the number would be closer to 75%. This is an astonishingly high Delusion Rate!

And as a testament to this belief, it is expected that Americans will spend 170 Billion dollars this year remodelling and renovating their homes.  Many will do so in the expectation of increasing their home value in a rapidly declining market. And belief is a powerful thing.  More than once in the past, American optimism has created lemonade out of lemons.

Remember the tech bubble?  It preceded the current real estate crisis. Those were the days in which anything that ended with .com seemed to garner froth-like admiration and the sky is the limit financing options.  When the boom turned to bust, thousands of programmers and entrepreneurs found themselves without jobs and the ardor for all things techie cooled substantially. 

Well, there may be good that comes about as a result of this re-evaluation of our obsession with real estate too.  Just like a good, stable relationship can't be sustained solely on the basis of giddiness, the sobering reality of declining prices, foreclosures and short sales may force us to take a good long hard look at what means to live in community.

For many Americans, the home became the piggy bank. A source of funding for all sorts of projects, whims, passions and fantasies through the vehicle of the home equity loan.  This spending spree banked on one precariously ridiculous notion. This was that home prices would continue their dramatic ascension forever.  The correction of reality grounded by gravitational forces which bring all things that go up back down...eventually may in the end prove to be an important grounding principle which steadies our economy and allows us to reassess where we place our value.

Our homes are the solid building blocks which anchor what America stands for.  They are where families are raised, dreams are born and life is lived and relished in all it's various expressions.  Although its' been fun to flirt and make houses bigger and flashier, trade and obsess about them, nip and tuck to stage them for success, ultimately it's not about what we do to our homes, but what our homes do for us.  Perhaps we will discover that our somewhat maniacal obsessing will never match the rewards that arise out of of the commitment, nurture and creation of solid human relationships. That's not a Lust thing...it's a Love Thing!

Copyright 2008 Audu Real Estate  All Rights Reserved

 

Lola Audu, CRS, GRI e-Pro ~ Audu Real Estate

Lola Audu, is the Designated Broker & Owner of Audu Real Estate.  Our company specializes in helping people buy and sell homes in the greater Grand Rapids, West Michigan area.  We've had the privilege of helping hundreds of clients succeed in their goals of purchasing and selling property including demonstrated success in the negotiation of Short Sale Transactions. You can contact us via e-mail @ info@auduhomes.com or by phone at 616-791-0511. 

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Comments

Yea, I admit it I love to look at peoples homes and watch My Crib on MTV. However, I do get your point.
Posted by Missy Caulk-Ann Arbor-RealtorĀ® Ann Arbor Real Estate (Keller Williams-Ann Arbor) about 4 years ago
Lola,  So true!  And as you well stated too many were using their homes as ATM's.  But, granted, this was part of a larger problem.  People weren't getting the increases that they expected and it was also a living up to the Smith's ideal, etc.  We would like to think that they've learned a lesson, but the stats that you show prove differently.  And as you say there is a great difference between lust and love.  Hopefully some of these realities will not be that harsh to many, but....
Posted by Marc Grossman, GRI - Greater Orlando Real Estate Broker (Marc It Sold!) about 4 years ago

Lola,

The correction of reality grounded by gravitational forces which bring all things that go up back down...eventually may in the end prove to be an important grounding principle which steadies our economy and allows us to reassess where we place our value.

This is one of the most profound statements I've heard lately. You are so right on the money with this. Great post and I'm flagging for a feature!

Posted by Linda Scanlan (A Fan of AR) about 4 years ago

The home became a piggy bank, how true.

I failed with a few of my friends, when I was telling them to sell when the first signs of downturn market became obvious, and they opted to refinance and take the money out. Now they can't sell for what they own.

I is mind boggling how people take a piece of paper and do calculations, and stick it into your face showing that they are much better off holding with all the money they get out. And then I am simply puzzled how fast they let that money disappear and end up in trouble.

Terrific post, Lola

Posted by Jon Zolsky, Daytona Beach, FL. FunCoast Realty, 386-405-4408 about 4 years ago

Lola~

I'be bookmarked this one and am sending it along to my Brokers...Your point..."Our homes are the solid building blocks which anchor what America stands for..."is so well-taken..and as usual,so right on...THX!

Posted by Asheville NC Properties of Enduring Excellence about 4 years ago

It's just the way it is - it follows cycles - There will always be the natural correctional balancing of what is out of alignment with true meaningful and lasting values .......

..it is a love thing! made me think of Love Train http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9luQ-yerVc

;) luv it!

Posted by Deborah Pearce (Living Spaces Interior Design & Home Staging ) about 4 years ago
Thank you for mentioning a book to read; I like your review.
Posted by Frank Schulte-Ladbeck (Frank Schulte-Ladbeck Professional Real Estate Inspections) about 4 years ago

Hey Lola!  Don't mean to blantantly plug my own site here, but this is EXACTLY why Zillow is so popular with consumers.  25% of the 4 million people that visit the site every month come more than 10 times! And like you said above, throw a celebrity home on the home page and the page views to that home skyrocket. 

Hopefully that 55% will be right about their home soon.  Hope you are doing well! 

Posted by Sara Bonert {Real Estate Internet Marketing} (Zillow) about 4 years ago
Lola, this is such a great post.  I hate parrotting the mentioned but it really needs to be said and I don't have anything to add.  Popping in to say hi :)
Posted by Renee Burrows - Las Vegas Real Estate - (702-580-1783) www.ShackDiva.com (BrokerThe Force Realty-REALTOR-Estate-Probate-REO-Short Sale) about 4 years ago
Beautiful post Lola.  I remember when I was growing up there was never any discussion of our home being a resource or investment.  And, when we moved several times I never remember my parents analyzing the homes as investments...it was all about good schools and what our needs were at the time.  Like everyone, my parents certainly benefited from the rise in housing values but it was never their focus.  Thanks for reminding me!
Posted by Lake Norman Real Estate ~ Diane Aurit (LKN Realty, LLC) about 4 years ago

Lola,

Nicely written post! "Solid human relationships"...are what it's all about!!! Thanks,   Fran

Posted by Fran 'The Title Man' Gaspari Title Insurance-PA & NJ (Patriot Land Transfer, Inc.) about 4 years ago

THANK YOU LOLA. 

The matter of Americans love affair with their homes has been besmugged by the attempts of the financial market to change the focus from "home" to focus on "investment". 

I remember a friend looking at some new townhomes in area some time ago and he made a remark "slums of tomorrow".  I told him that they were not the "slums of tomorrow", they were where families lived with their children, ate their meals, walked their dogs, entertained friends and family, made love, planned their children's future.  It was home to about 20 families, even if it was a family of one. 

That shut him up.

Wonderful post Lola. 

Posted by Lenn Harley, Real Estate Broker, Virginia & Maryland (Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate) about 4 years ago
Lola, this is a Wow Post!  And I think we initially choose our homes with the same little pheremone chemicals that determine attractions to our sweeties!  And sometimes, we defy logic.  Thank you for a great read!
Posted by Patricia Kennedy (Evers & Company Realtors) about 4 years ago
Lola, I love this post.  I see both the Investors here right now thinking of the 'money' aspect of a HOUSE and they people that truly love their HOMES and are trying to fix them up to enjoy them even more. 
Posted by Laura Cerrano and Carole Provenzale Owner, Feng Shui Long Island & New York (Feng Shui Long Island & New York City/Feng Shui Manhattan ) about 4 years ago
Absolutely fantastic post Lola!  This was so well articulated and kudos to whomever featured it.  Love tends to be the very thing that sets us free and it won't only cure an ailing soul but that other ailing thing in some places across this nation......The Housing Market.
Posted by Jason Sardi (I love kittens cute & My Jennifer!!) about 4 years ago
Indeed, we do have an obsession with our homes. When I was a child, my mother and I loved to spend our weekends visiting estate homes. Perhaps that is why I now sell homes!
Posted by Bill's Blog - Florida Realty Professional - AHWD (Charles Rutenberg Realty) about 4 years ago

Lola...

Go Batter...Batter...Batter...

And...SHE SLAMS IT RIGHT OUT OF THE PARK...Yah. I'm yelling!

Need I say more? Thought not :)

P.S. Ha! Ha! I bet you didn't see that one coming :)  

TLW...ROAR!  

Posted by "The Lovely Wife" (Broker Bryant's Wife) The One And Only TLW. (President-Tutas Towne Realty, Inc.) about 4 years ago
I think the analysts need to stop trying to make predictions. They need to put away their crystal balls and ride the wave.
Posted by Christy Powers - Pooler, Savannah Real Estate Agent (Keller Williams Coastal Area Partners) about 4 years ago
Thanks to all who have stopped by to read and comment.  I'll be responding to each of you.  This is an issue which strikes at the core of what is happening in the real estate market at this time.  I appreciate your insightful and thoughtful comments. 
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
I've used that saying before "that your home is your bank". But we now know there have been more withdrawals then deposits. So it's not worth what it used to. Very sad indeed.
Posted by Robert L. Brown~Grand Rapids Real Estate Bellabay Realty, West Michigan (www.mrbrownsellsgr.com) about 4 years ago
Thank you for your comment Missy. Hey, I'm the same way...we all are fascinated by housing.
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Marc, It's a sobering and difficult reality to have to deal with. It's a very disappointing letdown to a lot of people.  But, if we don't deal with the correction now, it will likely become even more severe.
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Thank you Linda for your comment and for flagging this post for a feature.  I appreciate both deeply. :)
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Jon, the experience you describe is unfortunately typical.  I think it might be because we are an optimistic nation.  The idea of house prices falling to the extent they have seems counter-intuitive to most people and they keep hoping it is not true about them. There are many, many people who are dealing with the crisis in the way your friends did...this includes many real estate agents too.
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago

jane Anne, what a delight to have a comment from you.  I trust the New Year is treating you well.  Feel free to share with your Broker or anyone else who you think might benefit. It is important for all us to understand what homes truly mean and to celebrate the possibility not just profit they bring into our lives and community.

Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
I love looking at homes, it's a great place to get ideas to use in your own home.
Posted by Tower Realty about 4 years ago
Deborah...what you've said is so true.  The principle of Life will always cause corrections to occur to imbalances that result when we are not in alignment with true meaning and true values.  Thank you very much for your contribution to this discussion.
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Frank...you're welcome.  If you read the link on the post, Newsweek has a very good review and discussion about this book.
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Lola, it's nice to see all of the heavy hitters commenting here. I like the last paragraph - It's a love thing. With the current situation in housing I think it's time for Americans to get back to basics. A house is a home when it's filled with love and family. To many people are or were treating their homes like a slot machine - and it back fired!
Posted by Dena Stevens ~ Putting the 'real' into REALTOR (Century 21 Canon Land & Investment) about 4 years ago
Sara, so nice to hear from you!  The Newsweek article actually referred to Zillow, although they did not have the statistic of how often people frequent the site.  In this case, your plug definitely added valuable information...Welcome anytime. :)
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Renee, Appreciate your stopping by! :) I know you understand...
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Diane, your comment really made me think...how did we get it all so turned around and upside down.  In a way it reminds me of what can happen when we forget that we're serving people and start chasing the real estate deal.  Either way, it's false and eventually the house of cards tumbles. 
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Fran, Appreciate your comment.  Thank you.
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
You know Lenn, as I think about what Diane said earlier too, you're right about where we got it wrong.  The intangible aspects of the investment in a home were priceless.  We lost sight of that when we began to look at home ownership as a merely a monetary investment.  Even the terms used were really kind of crass..."flippin' homes etc.  I'm glad that you reminded your client about what is really important in this process.  I think you did him a true favor.
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Patricia...some of what has gone on within the real estate market has truly defied logic...you're right about that!
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Hi Carole, Thanks for stopping by.  Investors have always been a part of the real estate industry and should be.  They have an important role to play and enable many people who cannot afford to own to be able to have a roof over their heads.  However, the type of investing which was toxic was the speculation which created a false reality of what homes were worth.  That's the chaos that we're paying for now.
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Jason...couldn't have said it better!  Thanks for stopping by.
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Hi Lola:  I like Robert's comment above.  This is a good post and I liked what the author of the story had to say about so many people not realizing the prices and value of homes are not necessarily increasing especially at this particular time. With the foreclosures, etc. in our market that we hear about daily, you think they would catch on.   
Posted by Ed Vogt, Grandville, MI Midwest Properties (Midwest Properties of Michigan) about 4 years ago
Hi Bill & Barbara Jo...it's so funny how early this love affair starts isn't it.  I remember drawing out my dream home as a child.
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
TLW...I'm smiling...No, Laughing...Need I say more?
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Hi Christy...I don't think there's any crystal ball which is wise enough to have all the answers on this one! :)
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Hi Robert, What folks failed to realize is that the bank insures it's deposits. Unfortunately, they didn't do the same for their customers by not loaning more than homes were worth and failing to insist on a buffer of say 10 ~ 15% of the current market value.  This would have slowed down the rate of lending....Thanks for stopping by to read and leave a comment.
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Hi Collette...I love looking at homes too...:)
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Dena...Your Home is Not Your Slot Machine...That sounds like a Broker Bryant blog title!  Thanks for stopping by to read and comment.
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Thanks for a great blog and being a featured post.  Keep up the great work
Posted by Dick Betts (Dick Betts National Speaker) about 4 years ago
Hi Ed, Thanks for stopping by.  It's not an easy thing to come to terms with.  Real estate values have traditionally risen.  I was struck by how widespread the resistance to the reality of the data is overall. 
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Thank you for your comment Dick.
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago

Thanks for the reminder.. We as the American people have to remember why you brought a home for to rise our family not to use it like an ATM machine. I lived in England for five year.. I rememebr when the market was down.. We had a mortgage of 40,000 pounds, but if you decided to sell the it we would owe the bank money.. because the home didn't have enough equity in it.. Now that the market has truned around to sell a property in Enland will net you a large return...

I guess we just have to  wait and see how this will end up for us... five years from now....

Posted by Donna Paul- Long Island Home Specialist Search for Long Island homes (Keller Williams Realty Greater Nassau) about 4 years ago
FANTASTIC POST, my friend! You are absolutely right on every point. I see this kind of thing over and over. I saw it when I was an interior designer, and I see it as an agent. We have an insatiable appetite for MORE...MORE OF EVERYTHING...including our homes. As the saying goes..."Sometimes, less is MORE." GBU!
Posted by Elizabeth Nieves - Bilingual Raleigh - Durham North Carolina Real Estate Team (The Elizabeth Nieves Realty Group) about 4 years ago
Hi Donna, Thanks for your comment.  Yes, things will eventually turn around here too.  Prices in England now are beyond belief...they may be in line for an adjustment as well.  But, I guess the most important thing is to buy what one can afford for the right reasons.
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
Thank you Elizabeth.  Now, I didn't know you were an interior designer.  You are indeed a woman of many talents.:)  Appreciate your stopping by to read and comment.
Posted by Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate about 4 years ago
This is wonderful ! You hit so many points dead on...my favorite is ..."Our homes are the solid building blocks which anchor what America stands for..." gives me chills !
Posted by Melissa Grant Virtual Assistant (Virtual Office Systems) about 4 years ago
This is such a Reality Check!  Thanks for taking the time to post this.  It is very thought provoking.
Posted by Don Draughn - Mortgage Professional about 4 years ago

 

This was a testament to the American Dream! Very good post!

Posted by Martin Dorgan (Prudential Indiana Realty) about 4 years ago

For many Americans, the home became the piggy bank. A source of funding for all sorts of projects, whims, passions and fantasies through the vehicle of the home equity loan

That is a big contributor to the current problem & the dreamweavers - who encouraged that life style and readily loaned them the money to fund it.

Posted by Kathleen Lordbock Keller Williams Realty Brainerd Lakes ( KW REALTOR/Staging & Short Sale Specialist) about 4 years ago
Very well written post. We love our homes and the reason sellers expect more for their home than what their neighbor got is because they believe their home is better than their neighbor's home.
Posted by GITA BANTWAL, REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI BUCKS County & Philadelphia, PA HOMES (RE/MAX Centre Realtors) almost 4 years ago
Great Post, very professional..u have a great info about most americans think that their homes are going up in value.... That is encouraging,,, Now they just need to believe it is time to sell and move up their home.
Posted by Mary Thomas PV,RB,MB,Torrance,Pas, Arc,SM REALTORĀ®* ( Palos Verdes, Manhattan Beach,Pasadena,Arcadia & Mon) almost 4 years ago

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