One of the most fascinating Greek mythological tales is the story of a young man named Narcissus, who was the son of the river god Cephissus and the nymph Liriope. He was an extraordinarily handsome young man and renown for his beauty. When he was born, his mother was told that he would enjoy a long life provided he never saw his own reflection. There are several variations of this tale that have survived so there is a suggestion that the tale we commonly refer to today is a "compilation" of several versions that were passed down over time.
The story of Narcissus, is a story about love...self love. Depending on the source, Tradition indicates that because of his looks, Narcissus attracted the infatuation of a nymph called Echo. Echo's ardent love for Narcissus was rejected. Spurned and wounded, Echo became heart sick and and withdrew into a lonely life of solitude and eventually pined away to a plaintive whisper.
When the Greek goddess of justice, Nemesis heard about Echo's prayers for vengeance, she enacted punishment on Narcissus by causing him to watch his own reflection endlessly until he too finally finally died. A peculiar form of judgment which doomed Narcissus to be wounded by the anti-thesis of what he carelessly disdained. Today, the Greek flower by the same name, (the common daffodil is a member of this plant family) is characterized by the fact that it always bends it's head downward toward the water...a graceful reminder of the Greek superstition that excessive self focus is unhealthy and can be the ultimate "fatal attraction."
References to the term narcissism in the Encyclopedia Britannica indicate that in psychiatry and especially psychoanalysis, the term narcissism denotes an excessive degree of self-esteem or self-involvement, a condition that is usually a form of emotional immaturity." Our modern culture is self-possessed in a manner that rivals the most extraordinary excesses of human history.
It is a natural impulse to have self-interest. In fact the biblical injuntive to "love you neighbor" assumes that you love yourself...the entire quote being..."love your neighbor AS you love your self. I think the way in which the process becomes toxic is when self love becomes dammed up without an outlet. The stagnation of unrelenting focus and self-interest becoming a dank, sour cesspool which obscures our ability to receive the gifts of others. And most importantly, to give of ourselves to others.
In some ways, the culture of self fascination is exponentially accentuated by the phenomenon of the Internet search. For the first time in history, the entire collective wisdom and focus of the entire world can be almost instantaneously accessed to produce a compilation of every minute detail about anyone or anything. We can search for our names, our interest, our celebrities, our heroes, our nemesis and anything else that supports the world of "US" with electric speed. In fact, we religiously spend hours of our lives doing exactly this. Google traffics entirely on this fact! Through a Google search, we can track with relentless precision every element of information that is currently creating our personal archives in multiples of images, print, audio and video logs.
Meanwhile, the modern version of Nemesis continues to exact her peculiar form of justice. Shattering the margins of our self-absorbed worlds, the chaos inherent in our culture and relationships wrecks havoc in homes through divorce, separation, alienation and brokenness. But like the curse of Narcissus, we continue to peer deeper into the inscrutable reflection in the pool, looking for answers in realms that are increasingly self absorbed. Witness the rise of the Self-Help movement and the enormous growth of the Spa industry which promote the ultimate indulgence in self-care and in some ways self absorption.
I think this ancient tale still offers a valuable contribution to assist in creating appropriate boundaries. In my analysis, Narcissus was not ultimately condemned for the sin of loving himself too much, but rather because he failed to extend love and appreciation to others. The sword of his disdain eventually held him hostage to the image of his own affections. Note also that he didn't fall in love with himself...he fell in love with a poor reflection of his true self...an entity that could never sustain life.
This type of excess remains a real temptation...even more so today when hours of self absorption on-line can so easily fool us into thinking that virtual reality is a subsitute for real life. In the process of interacting on-line, it is prudent to make sure that our love affair with the computer does not condemn us to a life poor in the wealth that can only come through investing time and love in those with whom we live everyday.
Photograph of dafodills courtesy of Brandon Cirillo on flickr.
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Lola,
Your "wisodm and insight" are always worth the time to read them... Your gift, your way with words, is inspiring... Thanks!
Hi Patrick, Thanks for you visit and comment. I am grateful that you found the ideas expressed in the post inspiring.
Hi Missy, Thank you for visiting and you comment. Perhaps because we fail to truly understand the nature of what a balanced life/perspective is...the doing of it becomes nearly impossible. I think understanding is the Key!
Hi Carole, Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Your comment about restoring balance by taking the time to do something that is really enjoyed is instructive. To fully appreciate your comment, one has to be more deeply reflective, otherwise it's easy to think you are referring to further self-indulgence...which I don't think you are. What comes to mind is the balancing power of for example taking the time to be refreshed by reading a good book rather than being dulled by the mindless droning of the TV. Hope I caught your drift. :)
Lola,
Thanks for the post. A wonderful read and so apropos to our over indulgence in our pursuits online.
Thank you, Lola, for this very interesting post. We can always learn from history and the bible.
Julia
Hi William, Thanks for stopping by to comment.
Julia, You're very right in noting that we can learn much from this wisdom gleaned from historical tales as well as the Bible. I find them both to be rich sources of insight. Thanks for your comment.
Beautiful post, Lola. I have studied Narcissistic Personality Disorder indepth (after ending a relationship with someone who has NPD) and the sad truth is that narcissists have very poor self esteem and a great amount of self-loathing deep inside. Their false self is the one we see, the one they put forth that makes them appear to be extreme lovers of themselves. Unfortunately inside they are frightened small children and most narcissists are a product of an abusive childhood in combination with the correct genetic make-up to enable the disorder.
It is an incurable personality disorder and keeps the psychiatric and counselling business a lucrative place to be. Not because of narcissists seeking help, moreso because of the havoc they wreak in their target's and victim's lives who subsequently require help. Giving our children the proper amount of love and attention and consistent daily guidance is the key to putting an end to this disorder. And yes, I agree totally that turning off the television and the computer and paying real live attention to our loved ones is the key to raising children who grow up to be mentally healthy adults who are then able to go forward and help others.
Jo
What an inspiring yet eye-opening post. I'm going to bed early tonight instead of blogging 'til late. : )
Well said - a very good point on the cultural obession with computer/internet connection.
Taking the psychoanalitical analogy a step further Lola, in reference to true narcisism & obsession. Looking deeper into the need will be found not self love at all, which it only appears to be, but actually is the entire lack of. The symbolic fascination of the reflection reflects a soul lost because it cannot connect with itself - hence the wisdom of the destruction of such a model.
True self love doesn't require & in fact is opposite to narcisism. True healthy self love confidently engages with itself & with others rather than the vicarious connection through a computer screen. My belief is that there is a lack of self worth indicated in this obsession.
I have a sister who would spend literally hours (3-5) in front of a mirror getting ready to go out. I spend 5 minutes & I'm done. It wasn't because she loved herself so much - she behaved & spoke as though she did - but it was really because she was 'never good enough.'
We crave connection. The paradox of technology is that it drives us away from actual connection - yet we are seeking it to regain connection lost, through technology!
Respectfully submitted. Thanks for the great articles!
Wow, Deborah, Thanks for sharing some very powerful insights. What you have stated in your comment is the TRUTH. Because, our lives tend to be lived on the surface- platonically, the truth can be buried or seem contorted because the glare of imbalance and self-focus distorts our perspective.
I am struck by your comment about connection. "We crave connection. The paradox of technology is that it drives us away from actual connection - yet we are seeking it to regain connection lost, through technology!" I think you will give many readers significant pause for thought. Thanks again.