"If you follow the usual prescription, not only will you put yourself on a path to burnout but you'll also miss a singular opportunity to turn the issue of fear to your advantage"
Tyler Lewke - Founder of Lewke Partners in Crystal Lake Ill.
Mr. Lewke made this arresting statement in the Commentary section of the latest issue of the Realtor magazine. It was response to a question posed about the biggest challenge facing today's unsettled marketplace.
How would you have answered the question? Would you say our biggest challenge is technology, new national players in the real estate marketplace, broker profitability, inadequate training, the credit market...to name a few?
According to the author, in his opinion "Fear has become the largest obstacle in transactions. All the skill in the world, all the prospecting, all the social media won't matter if we don't recognize the fear. If you listen to what customers and your colleagues in the industry say between their words, you can hear the fear, and you need to address it."
Are you hearing the fear? Are you aware of the fact that you need to listen for it? It shows up in some many different ways. For some, its' an inability to focus. Time spent playing around on the computer is somehow easier than actually getting out and meeting people. For others, it's the exact opposite...frenzied activity, chasing every 'potential solution' fearing that stopping for a second may signal the end of a career.
Real Estate has always been a numbers game like most sales based professions, but lately playing the numbers game is likely to be a recipe for the disaster. I'll never forget a real estate team that I encountered during my early years in the business. They were so focused on the numbers game that they asked the broker to literally take away their desks and chairs and install only a counter to facilitate the hundreds of cold calls they were making every single day!
Cold calling definitely has it's place as a viable form of prospecting, but in an era in which a negotiation for a short sales can take months, Mr. Lewkes points out that this type of 'militaristic approach to prospecting is a path to burnout and will also cause us to loose sight of some unique opportunities to address the issue of fear in ourselves and our clients effectively.
Dealing with Fear starts with awareness. Fear drains huge amounts of energy. When we're locked in it's grip, it's hard to think clearly and even harder to respond proactively. Awareness of the fact that our thoughts and actions are being influenced by fear has a way of dispelling the shadows. Fear drives with ruthless cruelty when it is shrouded in darkness. When we admit our reservations and our fears to ourselves and others, we often find that we are NOT alone and there may be far more support than we could have ever envisioned.
Facing the Fear within ourselves also allows us to listen to what our clients are really saying in between the lines and to address real issues rather than phantom ones. Facing the Fear enables us to invest energy into creative solutions and can facilitate the patience to persevere in spite of the odds.
Courage is not about the absence of fear, it's the ability to walk through the vice-grip and face Fear head on. Experience proves that Fear will always blink first when faced with the power of Courage. Recognizing, admitting and dealing with our fears greatly aids our ability to counsel others who are facing the same issue. And in today's world, the field of the afflicted is crowded.
Courage transforms into compassion when it links arms and walks another through the trouble to the other side. It is this sort of action which has the ability to transform our lives and our profession because it presents an incredible opportunity to support those we serve and provides an intrinsic value which goes far beyond the dollars and cents!
picture courtesy of flickr photostream of Mr. Kris ~ creative commons' license.
Click here to read Mr. Lewke's inspiring article on Putting Fear Behind Us in it's entirety.
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Lola Audu, is the Designated Broker & Owner of Audu Real Estate. Our company specializes in helping people buy and sell homes in the greater Grand Rapids, West Michigan area. We've had the privilege of helping hundreds of clients succeed in their goals of purchasing and selling property including demonstrated success in the negotiation of Short Sale Transactions. You can contact us via e-mail @ info@auduhomes.com or by phone at 616-791-0511.
YUP...time to stop wasting so much energy and put our actions in it's correct place. Trying something new does take courage. Look at me today :)
Hey Sally, thanks for stopping by! Courage is a character trait which is in short supply. It may be one of the most valuable thing we give to others in our service to them. Even if we can't tackle everything at once...
Hi Lola,
Thank you for informative and helpful article.
John Pusa
Lola - I really enjoyed this article, for the message is very tellingl. I think fear is a huge issues for many - agents, buyers and sellers - and it manifests itself in many ways. I'll be interested to hear what others have to say.
Jeff
"Perfect love casts out fear". ;-) Most people won't understand that, but I think you do. We have to keep looking "up". Fear overtakes us when we lose focus... on God, and His word.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I hear the fear. How do I solve the fear? With beer, dear. An answer to your question ... do you hear?
People are nervous and require far more handholding and reassurance lately. Nervous people are far more deliberate, careful, and slow. We as professionals have to adapt. Sales is always a numbers game for sure, but managing our client's concerns is about their minds. It's both.
There are no guarantees other than buyers today are certainly not buying at the 'top'. I counsel that it's all about lifestyle.
Yes fear is a powerful foe and can run and ruin your life. Thanks for the post.
Hi Lola,
First of all I would like to say thanks for share such a wonderful like about Real Estate. As I consider Real Estate is not a mind or number game, just a game played by brave heart.
Thanks!
Lola, this hit me right in the gut and the better news is that faith, and resources such as AR and posts like yours can edge fear out!
In one of his books(Shift ? ) Gary Keller says" whatever you're fearing, is what you are probably being called/led to do !!!" The battle to use or not use our potential has always started in the mind !
Hi Lola,
A thoughtful post on fear and I appreciate your sharing. "Hearing the fear" is something I feel we all must be in tune to anticipate and react to in all transactions. For many having their home sale is a need that must be fulfilled and for some buying anxieties on if they are buying at the right time for the right money are assaulting and questioning their choice. Keeping the transaction on the right path and spending extra time working through the obstacles are paramount! Congrats on the feature!
Nice post today. Thanks for getting it out there for us on AR. Nice feature too!.
Patricia /Seacoast NH
Lola, I spent almost twenty years in the industry saying that I would never make cold calls. Now that we are in the short sale/foreclosure era I have found myself making those dreaded short sale cold calls. Like most Realtors I am somewhat introverted. The popular misconception is that we are extroverts, but that path leads to early burnout. The rest of us skirt that fine line between engagement and fear. As an introvert I risk the fear of rejection, but also like an introvert, I can maintain an integrity that is not based on what others might think. So when I face fear, I ask myself who am I, and what do I think will be the bad ourcome of an action? I typically find that I have lost nothing. The greater loss is unrealized success.
Hi Lola, this is a hard pressing question I think everybody is asking of them self's. But I think Real estate like anything else, is an advisory business. It is still a numbers game meaning you have to speak to enough people out there and so is it a mind game too.
It is to bring value to the client and not just to hold/Sell the listing.
if we recognize this we will prevail but if not, just like 411 replaced the live operator, and just like other professions where they replaced people with machinery.
My thoughts,
Joel Silberstein
Interesting post that presents a very good point. Fear can be THE biggest obstacle to achieving just about anything if you let it take control and govern all your thoughts and actions.
Hi John, Thanks for reading.
Jeff, I know Fear is a huge issue for many today, the situations we are facing are unprecedented.
What a wonderful post and oh so true! I am considered and in most cases I am an extrovert but every once in a while I am fearful of meeting a new client, making a phone call to the client I have been working with for months, etc. It is good to address not only your own fear but to take the time to hear the fear in your clients, friends and families voices/words. Thanks for a post that will have me take the time and listen closer.
Hi Lola -- Very insightful post. Fear can be paralyzing. I try to focus on being quitely tenacious, focused and determined, no matter how well the market is or is not doing. Treating every client like gold, the way I want to be treated, and staying in touch with them afterwards, is a simple, yet proven model for long-term success. It's also a whole lot less distracting.
I think it is a numbers game if you can put your fears aside. We have to get in front of so many customers to make a sale.
Lisa, thanks for your comment. The perfecting of love inside a person is a profound experience and also a process & that is why it is powerful enough to cast out fear. The process of learning to trust God completely is an ongoing one. It enables us to live in the confidence of knowing that He is able to take care of the things that concern us.
Kyle, I hear you...just thinking that's a temporary solution. What happens after the beer wears off & the fear is still there?
J. Phillips...I think gaining a better appreciation for how fear is influencing people can increase our understanding and help us to serve people more effectively.
Vicki...thanks for your comment.
James...only if you let it!
Janice, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I think all of us can relate to some degree.
Michael..."Shift" is a great book! It takes a lot of courage to walk through fear. I'm not entirely convinced this necessarily always relates to something we are called to do, but there is always something that we need to be more aware of.
Dorie...thank you for your comment. I can certainly relate.
Patricia, thanks. The original article is also a worthy read. Check it out.
Joe, thanks for sharing such a thoughtful comment. Facing fear does start with awareness which can begin by simply asking the right question (s) Much of what we fear never comes to pass or is not necessarily as bad as the dread that precedes it. You're right.
Joel, being a success in real estate will always involve talking and meeting people, but it's also important to understand what motivates them and the stresses that are impacting the transaction. Fear tends to foster irrational decision making and false stalls. It can also be very well masked. The ability to manage or better yet overcome fear will be a very valuable asset and offer assistance to many. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Enjoyed your recent blog post!
Lola, there is some real fear among sellers who lose their houses, and among agents who can't pay their bills. But fear can be overcome with smarts and hard work and resources. Cold calling seems to be getting replaced by engaging others in social media and at least initially NOT talking about real estate.
Lola, this is so profound:
Courage is not about the absence of fear, it's the ability to walk through the vice-grip and face Fear head on. Experience proves that Fear will always blink first when faced with the power of Courage. Recognizing, admitting and dealing with our fears greatly aids our ability to counsel others who are facing the same issue. And in today's world, the field of the afflicted is crowded.
yes and not just for Realtors, but for everyday Joe's.
Hi Lola! Happy Thanksgiving!! I did a post on fear also.... it seems to be a topic being addressed lately... we both know the root of it! Thanks for sharing encouragement!
Doug, thanks for your comment. Fear is a multi-tentacled beast. :)
Justin, I'm glad this post was helpful. Thanks for stopping to read and comment
Chris, following the 'Golden Rule' is a good recipe for success in life & business. If we understand our own limitations, we're also better able to respond to what we see in others. Thanks for reading.
Ted, Thanks for stopping by. I think we're in the midst of a paradigm shift in the real estate industry. I would agree with Mr. Lewkes that to thrive in today's marketplace, we need to move beyond chasing numbers and give more attention to understanding motivation and providing intrinsic value.
Gary, interesting point you make about the 'risk' in social media where engagement and relationships trump going for an immediate sale. When times are tough, it takes courage to forge ahead in a new direction. But, as many are discovering, you can't keep doing the same thing if you're hoping for a different result. Thanks for your comment.
Missy, We, Us, Are Everybody. That's the strength of the Realtor® community, we come from a vast and diverse cross-section of life. What impacts Us is impacting others too. Fear is definitely something that is pervasive in many areas of life today. I think that when we are honest about our struggles and deal with issues and challenges, it gives us an authentic platform to communicate and serve. Thanks for stopping by today. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family.
Diane, Thanks for stopping to read and comment tonight. Blessings for a great Thanksgiving Celebration to you and your family too. :)
Lola.... This is a very interesting post. Each person can look at this in a different light.
This is indeed interesting - what bothers me is that hardly anyone who sees this will take this into their hearts and actually put the newfound knowledge to use to better their lives - not just their business.
Hi Lola - and Happy Thanksgiving to you ! At times it seems like we are surrounded by one type of fear or another. As agents we have the fears of rejection, losing a deal, lender issues, etc. Sellers and buyers fear market forces beyond their control and some face a very uncertain future ! For myself, I can feel fear on many levels. Both for myself and the clients who entrust me with their real estate plans. I'm having a very good year and yet sometimes have an uneasy sense that many things are simply beyond our control !
I have put in almost 100 offers over asking price since August with no contract to show for it. The numbers are getting harder to deal with.
Hi Roland, thanks for stopping by. A good conversation should engage words and thoughts...hopefully this conversation helps us to understand ourselves and others better.
Terkel...while we may never fully understand the impact of things we do, it is my hope that some individuals will be challenged to a greater awareness by this discussion. Thanks for stopping by.
Bill, I think most of us can relate to the uneasy feeling you describe. That's why I call Fear a 'many tentacled monster' it has a way of weaving itself into many areas of life and creating a sense of dis-ease even when things are going well. It really is a False Expectation that Appears Real. Calling it's bluff is the work of life.
Gene...Wow, that is not easy. Thanks for stopping by here today Gene & I sincerely hope that things shift for the better for you.
Lola
Good post and I know we all have heard "You have nothing to fear but fear itself", but it is still tough!
Ty
Courage is found within encouragement; thanks Lola!
I appreciate the insightful post. I agree that we need to understand and focus on the intrinsic needs of our customers and clients because if we're only in this business for the money, we won't be successful. Thanks for the post.
Lola~
Right on! Fear is the predator lurking in the shadows and on the prowl for equilibrium!!!
Lola, You are so right about this. This is especially true with first time buyers and underwater seller. UIf you cannot get past the fear, forget the deal because it will not happen.
Fear is absolutely there in all transactions. If this is not addressed correctly then the transaction fails. I remember the book Dune, by Frank Herbert. "Fear is the mind killer."
Lola, great post congrats on the newsletter feature. Very wise statements.
One of my favortie quotes now is:
" Life isn't about how to survive the storm" (perhaps our fear),
But how to dance inthe rain" (our courage?).
Lola, Thanks for sharing. I intend to use this for both me and my clients.
Lola, this is a great post and an eye opener. I knew there was fear out there for buyers, but as far as for me as a REALTOR I don't see it. I try to keep my nose to the grindstone and keep on doing my job. I'm doing okay! Great post!
Nice post, Lola.It's a balancing act. It's like we're on a seesaw and trying to get and keep everything in it's place. The trick is knowing where it should go and being able to get it there. We have to conqer our fear first in order to help our potential clients and clients with there's. If not, we're doomed, because people smell fea a mile away.
Nice post, Lola.It's a balancing act. It's like we're on a seesaw and trying to get and keep everything in it's place. The trick is knowing where it should go and being able to get it there. We have to conqer our fear first in order to help our potential clients and clients with there's. If not, we're doomed, because people smell fea a mile away.
Lola...
I live for mind games and shock value. Both have their place in our world :)
I am sooo not the person people should try to play mind games with. They will lose. They always do. But you already know that about me :)
Good to see you. There is no keeping up with this place anymore :)
TLW...ROAR!
Prudential First Realty will be sad that Tyler is leaving to go to Keller Williams.
wow this should be some PMA speach....fear does drain your energy....you need fear to have courage, if you had no fear why would you need courage...
numbers...sometimes quality is better than quantity..W. Clement Stone founder of Combined Ins...stated DO IT NOW...where do you think Nike got Just Do it and he said this before Nike was a company ...but back to the numbers...he stated selling insurance in Chicago, a person could work selling insurance in the Sears Tower and never leave that building...there are enough leads and friends and relatives and new employees in that one buiding that a sales person could spent his entire life just selling insurance to people in that building...so numbers...why run all over town doing numbers of leads when right under your feet are thousands and thousands of leads
F.E.A.R. = Fantasized Experience Appearing Real
When we fear something, it really hasn't happened to us . . . we just fear it might, or may. This can paralyze us. Thank you for the post. I forget this myself sometimes.
P.S. I commented and THEN went back up and read the comments . . . hey, great minds and all that ;-)
I find as soon as you get complacent you are done! Real Estate is an ever changing business and if you aren't changing with it or being the one making the change that others will follow, then you might as well prepare to leave the business, because you won't last much longer.